Grieving whilde someone is still alive
Apr 25, 2025There are moments in life when grief appears without a funeral ever taking place. No one has physically passed away, and yet the sorrow is unmistakable. Deep, raw, existential. This is often referred to as living loss: the pain of losing someone who is still alive, but gradually fading from view.
It may unfold when a parent declines due to dementia, when a loved one becomes emotionally distant, or when a child retreats into their own world. It can also mean releasing a long-held dream, a future once envisioned, or a part of yourself that no longer fits. Life begins to change its color. What once felt steady becomes fragile. What once felt close begins to slip away. And in that quiet shift, grief takes root. Not for the ending itself, but for the movement toward it. It is grief carried by time.
The silence of living loss
This kind of grief is often invisible to others. There are no sympathy cards, no formal rituals, no easy words to offer comfort. Yet beneath the surface lies a profound emptiness, a growing absence, and a struggle to name what is quietly slipping away.
It might be a parent whose memory fades day by day. A gaze that no longer recognizes you. Repeating questions for which you find fewer and fewer answers. It could be a partner who remains physically present, yet emotionally unreachable. Or a child who lives in another reality, leaving you yearning for the closeness you once shared. The ache this causes is real. And it deserves to be seen—by others, and by yourself.
No fixed path
There is no roadmap for grieving someone who is still here. No timeline, no rules, no standard youneed to follow. Some days, lighting a candle might be enough. Other days, you may want to cry out into the forest. You might feel the urge to speak with someone who understands your vulnerability. Or you may simply need to write, pray, or sit in quiet meditation.
What matters most is making space—for your sorrow, your breath, your truth. Not pushing yourself to be strong, but allowing yourself to be soft. Slow down. Feel what arises. Let it be there without rushing to make sense of it. Sometimes, the most powerful act is placing a hand on your heart and breathing through it.
Grief is not a problem
Grief is often misunderstood as something to fix. But it is not a flaw, and it is not a weakness. Grief is a response to something or someone who mattered deeply. It reveals the depth of your connection, the meaning of what you shared, and the love that still lingers.
It is a quiet inner shift that helps rebalance your inner world. Your soul makes room for what is changing, and gently releases what no longer fits. What has run its course begins to soften and dissolve. What remains is reshaped into a new place within you.
Often, your body senses change before your mind understands it. Grief helps you stay with that knowing, to move with what life is unfolding—even when it feels hard to bear.
The layers underneath the loss
Living loss can awaken old grief that lives beneath the surface. You may notice the presence of the small child in you, still afraid of being left behind. Or the teenager who once felt misunderstood, unseen, or dismissed. Perhaps the adult in you is trying to hold everything together, even when you feel uncertain and overwhelmed inside.
Below the surface, you may find a quiet mix of emotions: the raw ache of abandonment, the weight of helplessness, sorrow that resists words, an undercurrent of guilt, moments of numbness, or a deep and tender love that no longer has a place to land.
These feelings do not need fixing. They long to be acknowledged, witnessed, and gently held—without pressure, without judgment, and without haste.
Finding your own way
Everyone processes this kind of grief in their own way. What supports one person may not feel right for another, and that’s entirely okay. You might need solitude and stillness. Or you may feel comfort in sharing your story with someone who listens from the heart. Perhaps walking through nature helps you ground. Or expressing yourself through writing, painting, or speaking to your guides brings clarity.
There is no single right way. What matters is staying connected to yourself—not just surviving, but breathing. Not shutting down, but gently staying present to what is alive in you.
And if it feels possible, even for a moment, allow yourself something soft. A pause to rest. A smile toward a cherished memory. A tear released without needing to explain it. A song that opens the tender spaces of your heart.
You do not have to carry it alone
Living loss is a quiet journey. One that asks much of your inner world, often without the outer recognition. But you do not have to walk it entirely on your own.
Sometimes, it helps to have someone beside you. Someone who doesn’t want to fix you, but who can stay present with all that you feel. In a reading, I tune into your soul’s rhythm—energetically, systemically—so you can see more clearly what is yours to carry and what you may slowly begin to lay down. You are warmly welcome whenever something in you begins to stir and asks for your attention.
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